Santa Banta SMS



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Jeeto sent Santa for shopping.
She told him to get something that
 will make her look sexy. He came
 back with 2 bottles of vodka for himself.

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Santa: Why are you crying, darling?
Jeeto: I baked a cake and the dog ate it all up.
Santa: Don't worry, I will get you another dog.

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Santa standing on the platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa, you'll die.
Santa: Fool, you'll die; Because haven’t you heard, the train is coming on the platform?

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Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & dragged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.

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Santa: I do not want to marry coz I am afraid of women.
Banta: Get married soon, then u'll be afraid of only one woman & start loving all other women!

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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of the horse & says, `You can note down the number`.

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Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doctor.
Dr: What happened?
Son: Don’t know about the disease but since morning he is on VIBRATION mode.

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Santa goes to buy an underwear. On choosing one, he asks, How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500 only.
Santa: I need a daily wear so show me a regular underwear not the party underwear.

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While walking in the highlands, Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: Are U okay?
Santa: Yeah!

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Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?
Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience.

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Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't have any more work.
Santa: That's all right, sir. In fact, I am just the right person in this case. You see, I won't ask you to give me work anyway!

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Santa: I couldn't slept all night in the train.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Why didn't u try to exchange your berth?
Santa: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth.

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Santa: Will U marry, after I die?
Jeeto: No, I will live with my sister.
Jeeto: Will U marry, after I die?
Santa: No, I will also live with your sister.

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Judge: Why were u arrested?
Santa: For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that’s not a crime. Anyway, how early were u shopping?
Santa: Before the shop opened.

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Jeeto (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled, and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?
Santa: Your eyesight is still excellent!

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Santa: Dear son, this time you have to get at least 95% marks.
Pappu: No dad, I will get 100% this time.
Santa: Why are u telling a joke?
Pappu: Who started first?

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Santa: Why are you crying?
Banta: The elephant is dead.
Santa: Was he your pet?
Banta: No, but I'm the one who has to dig his grave.

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Santa: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Banta: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died?
Santa: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.

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Santa: Why are you crying?
Banta: The elephant is dead.
Santa: Was he your pet?
Banta: No, but I'm the one who has to dig his grave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (www.clickdunia.in) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Banta: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died?
Santa: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (www.clickdunia.in) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

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Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (www.clickdunia.in) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (www.clickdunia.in) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

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